From my earliest days of spiritual growth, I have struggled with surrender!
While I understood the concept, it felt counter-intuitive; after working SO hard to develop a healthier sense of self. Why would I then put her on the back burner for an unknown force, spirit, etc. to run my life. Damn! This was my life!! I thought I was supposed to be in charge of it from now on.
As I began to comprehend what was really meant by surrender, I saw the possibility of the freedom that lie within. However, HOW to put this into practice, and truly live from that place continued to elude me….
Then, as is always the case when I have something to learn, I had opportunities to do so. Several situations were presented to me, some of which were SO out of my control, that I truly felt I had no choice! After a few “emotional temper tantrums” and some tears, I found that I was learning an underlying lesson — accepting when there’s nothing else you can do. Sometimes, when life hands you a lemon, you don’t want lemon aid!! You want candy and lollipops. But, I learned that a steady diet of candy and lollipops isn’t healthy.
I don’t mean to imply that I now have this all handled, neatly tied up with a ribbon and bow!! Those who know me, can attest to that.
I have, however, learned to recognize the situations that continue to challenge me on this, and each time I work to surrender a little more easily, more fully. In time, I hope to be able to fly with the eagles, soaring high above where the view is brighter.